165 Days to Lift Off

One way ticket booked

Yesterday I wrote about an airfare sale I had my eye on that was ending today.

I booked my ticket at 11pm before the sale ended at midnight (yay!). In the end, I caved and went with my partner’s preferred departure date, in…

165 Days

That seems like a long time but I have gained myself a “compromise credit.”

Emotions

For five minutes after booking, I felt calmer.

Then, I calculated how many days 5 1/2 months is and felt sad.

Now, I just feel sick. Queasy and awful.

Thoughts

I’m having a stream of thoughts like >

“Will I just feel like I’m a homeless person?”

“What if I miss my Mom and other family?”

“But I like to be at home, I’m a homebody.”

“This is a ridiculous idea.”

“I feel sick.”

How Did I Deal with Above?

The advantage of being in my thirties is that now I can handle the types of thoughts and emotions above and not feel too fazed by them. I’ve had lots of life experience of doing anxiety provoking things.

I thought about the positive e.g.,

- I’m going to be doing this with my partner, unlike the last time I moved abroad when we did a long distance relationship for 18 months.

I thought about how many options we have. e.g.,

- We could just stay three months in each place like @for91days do.

- I might end up spending at least 1 month out of every seven months back in New Zealand to keep my interest free status on my student loan. I could move back in with my Mom for a month if I did this. I’ve secretly wanted to do this since I left home as a teenager.

- I decided to just forget about trip planning for a few days. I love travel planning and research but now it’s five months away and our first flight is booked, there’s no rush.

Outcome

Feeling good now. I wish I didn’t have 165 days of anticipation ahead of me (too much time to just get stressed, whereas for my partner the extra time feels more relaxing).