165 Days to Lift Off
A drop in the ocean – flying over Tonga earlier this year.
One way ticket booked
Yesterday I wrote about an airfare sale I had my eye on that was ending today.
I booked my ticket at 11pm before the sale ended at midnight (yay!). In the end, I caved and went with my partner’s preferred departure date, in…
That seems like a long time but I have gained myself a “compromise credit.”
For five minutes after booking, I felt calmer.
Then, I calculated how many days 5 1/2 months is and felt sad.
Now, I just feel sick. Queasy and awful.
I’m having a stream of thoughts like >
“Will I just feel like I’m a homeless person?”
“What if I miss my Mom and other family?”
“But I like to be at home, I’m a homebody.”
“This is a ridiculous idea.”
“I feel sick.”
How Did I Deal with Above?
The advantage of being in my thirties is that now I can handle the types of thoughts and emotions above and not feel too fazed by them. I’ve had lots of life experience of doing anxiety provoking things.
I thought about the positive e.g.,
– I’m going to be doing this with my partner, unlike the last time I moved abroad when we did a long distance relationship for 18 months.
I thought about how many options we have. e.g.,
– We could just stay three months in each place like @for91days do.
– I might end up spending at least 1 month out of every seven months back in New Zealand to keep my interest free status on my student loan. I could move back in with my Mom for a month if I did this. I’ve secretly wanted to do this since I left home as a teenager.
– I decided to just forget about trip planning for a few days. I love travel planning and research but now it’s five months away and our first flight is booked, there’s no rush.
Feeling good now. I wish I didn’t have 165 days of anticipation ahead of me (too much time to just get stressed, whereas for my partner the extra time feels more relaxing).